Saya bukan uztazah tapi saya seorang yang berfikir . Dalam Al Quran orang yang berfikir disebutkan sebagai Ulul Al Bab .
” Dalam kejadian langit dan bumi serta malam dan siang ada petanda bagi orang yang berfikir ”
Berbunyi ayat dalam surah Al Imran 190.
Kebolehan berfikir mungkin milik semua manusia tapi sebenarnya ada banyak rintangan dan halangan dari berfikir secara waras .
Kebolehan berfikir sepatutnya boleh memberi kita pedoman untuk pilih tindak tanduk dan kata-kata serta amalan yang baik dan benar .
Halangan yang paling utama adalah rutin, kebiasaan , adat, dan ilmu yang di suapkan kepada kita dari ibu bapa, guru dan pensyarah serta majikan .
Halangan kedua adalah pengalaman kita serta persepsi kita berdasarkan pengalaman .
Halangan ketiga adalah kimia neurotransmitters dalam otak serta keadaan kesihatan mental kita
Halangan ke empat adalah kepentingan kewangan harta dan pangkat yang boleh menyebabkan kita pertahankan yang batil dan ini berkait rapat dengan nafsu dan ego .
Banyak lagi halangan halangan yang ada dan mungkin saya pun terjejas dengan halangan namun dari banyak aspek saya berani dan sanggup menentang arus, demi mempertahankan kebenaran yang saya nampak sebab saya mahu tergolong dalam kategori
“orang yang berfikit ”
Orang yang kagum atas ciptaan Allah swt yang tidak menjadikan apa-apa dengan sia-sia .
Orang yang boleh cari hikmah dalam setiap kepahitan kehidupan yang dialami di dunia fana ini .Oran
To be human is to be prejudiced. We get used to seeing things in a certain way. At times we do not even notice we are seeing something from a certain perspective. It is like forgetting you have sunglasses on and thinking that the day has become dark!
So we see somebody behaving in a certain way and we link it back to our own behaviour and we usually know why we do something- usually, but not always. We then equate what the other person did with a hidden intention within that other person. Worse still, we then use our perception to make an accusation and maybe we are right but, maybe we are wrong!
Have you done that lately? Have you accused somebody of showing off? Of wanting a free ride, or of trying to impress? Do you know or, is it a perception based on your own view point which includes your filters?
It matters if you work with people, it also matters if you are a doctor and even more when you are a homeopath to know you have filters and know when you are being opinionated and when you are being objective in your recording the symptoms and signs of the case.
As an example, a patient starts to bat their eyelids at you and you immediately go on your guard because you think she is flirting. It turns out she has dust in her eyes. So the filter you have is your past experience of other women who bat their eyelids at you!
Another example would be when a person is good at something and demonstrates what they are good at. You immediately think: “Show off! ” It may just be that the person is just being her/him self and does not even think very much of what he/she is good at, simply because it is part and parcel of him/her.
So the point I am driving at is, to be aware of your filters, do not make assumptions and worse still accuse people based on your interpretation of their behaviour. Ask if you need to and find that person’s reasons, not the ones you think are that persons reasons!
As a human creature, we truly like positive feedback and just hate negative feedback. Bosses in general expect their subordinates to appreciate their negative feedback and “improve”. Actually, it does not work that way. It is demoralizing and an extreme put down especially when the subordinate in question is hardworking and does his/her best within their human limitations.
The subordinate needs to feel appreciated for their hard work. They also need feedback that should be something like this: ” You know how I marvel at the amount of work you have done to ….! And, here is some feedback on how you could be more effective. So and so is not too happy with the way you did ….., and this has been echoed by some others too… maybe you could change your strategy….What do you think, can you come up with a different way of handling these people or, do you need my suggestion?” All said with a twinkle in the eye and compassion in the heart , with a sincere desire to help the hapless subordinate.
This is a coaching style of leadership that could move a level three personnel who micromanages because he/she thinks he/she is the only one who can do the job to someone who will let go of total control and learn to trust those working under him/her.
What I needed to do when I was studying and training to be a coach is to learn how to accept feedback. What I also inadvertently took on was the expectation of how feedback should be given. I expected people who gave feedback would do so with a lot of tact, with a twinkle in the eye and love in the heart as Dr Brian Kaplan would say. You can expect that from a good coach who has developed a close relationship with you but do not expect it from people in general. The most important things I learned from coaching was how to be self aware. To be aware of one’s own shortcoming and missteps without having to be told about it by others. A good way to do this would be by journalling. I have a journalling format for you to discover your gifts talents and skills as well as instructions on how to go about doing the journalling. I would be happy to share this with you. Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org
Many of us notice that we see other people’s faults quite easily. What we probably cannot quite manage to notice is our own faults. We even forget what we say . Unfortunately people remember. How would it be then if we could see our own faults just as easily as we see others’s faults. It can happen. What you need is a coach who would tell it to you as it is and do it to help you change. What will make this work is the building of a relationship and a great deal of trust.